Twenty years ago, Purina demonstrated a two year reduction in lifespan in Labradors kept in a laboratory setting. Now a recent large study in the US has for the first time looked at common dog breeds in the home environment.

Here is what they found, in graphic form.

Weight vs Lifespan Chart

Fascinating isn’t it? I’ve ranked the breeds from smaller to larger, and there’s a clear trend. Smaller breeds suffer the most from being overweight with the same average loss of two years of life. Large breeds have from half to one year taken from their lifespan.

Here’s the same data in tabular form so you can see the numbers.

Weight & Life Span In Dogs

Why Do Small Breeds Lose More?

So let’s come up with some theories for what we see. You are welcome to add your own below. Mine are:

1. Small dogs are allowed to get much more overweight than big dogs. I regularly see small dogs who are 30% above their target weight but for big dogs that number might be 15% before the same people act on it.
2. Small breeds are living longer, so they have more to lose (read here though why I don’t see this in my clinic)
3. Big dogs might have more other diseases limiting their lifespan, especially arthritis and osteosarcoma.

But whatever the reason, it’s a new and striking finding.

Let’s also not forget that it’s not just about how long they live. Several studies have also shown that overweight dogs have reduced quality of life. So now let’s help them live their longest and best lives.

A Positive Conclusion

I know how hard it is for many people. However, it frustrates me when a dog owner says it’s hopeless and they can’t do it. Because they absolutely can.

That’s why I built a whole page devoted to helping you reduce your dog’s weight without blame or judgement. Here’s what a recent reviewer said about it:

Thanks a lot for this comprehensive guide to how to help dogs lose weight. It’s been the most helpful I found on the Web.

Ruth

Here it is, plus some other pages you might like:

• How You CAN Help Your Dog To Lose Weight
• Lifespans of >100 Dog Breeds
• Helping Cats Lose Weight

Reference: Association between life span and body condition in neutered client‐owned dogs

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By Andrew Spanner BVSc(Hons) MVetStud, a vet in Adelaide, Australia. Meet his team here.

It’s the classic case of sitting in an ivory tower making the rest of Australia feel guilty for doing what comes naturally. It also says some fairly silly things. So before I give you some simple tips for a proper home burial, let’s clear them up.

Q: Is the concentrated anaesthetic used for euthanasia dangerous to other animals?

A: Not if pets are buried according to our advice.

Q: Should their remains be enclosed in a container that prevents animals accessing the body?

A: No. This will inhibit the normal decomposition process.

Q: Could the diseases they died from spread to other animals or people?

A: If a pet dies of a contagious disease such as Parvo, home burial is not recommended. However, this is now exceedingly rare.

Q: Is your dog or cat’s body useful to science?

A: Rarely. I encourage donations for research and training (see below). However, universities are neither willing nor able to accept the sorts of numbers involved.

Q: Do local councils have restrictions on pet burial

A: Not to our knowledge. I rang my three local councils, and visited many other websites. I am not aware of any council in Australia that has rules against pet burial. Many even give sensible ‘how to’ guidelines.

Pros & Cons Of Home Burial

Reasons why home burial may be right for you include:

• Grieving- no two people respond to the loss of a pet the same way. For some, having them buried at home is a great comfort.
• Environment- done well, a pet burial will be carbon neutral and your animal goes back to the soil.
• Cost- we have to be realistic about what people can afford.

However, home burial is only an option, and these days less people do it. I suspect the reasons are:

• Difficulty- a good home burial is both physically and emotionally draining.
• Availability- many people don’t have access to suitable land, especially if they are renting or live in an apartment.
• Preference- the Animal Welfare League here provides a good cremation service that most owners find very comforting.

Another potential problem (as discussed in the comments below), is leaching of the pentobarbitone from the body into surrounding soil. Euthanasia drugs appear to persist for a long time in the environment. This is of particular concern if food crops are being harvested in the vicinity.

How To Bury A Pet Well

Follow these simple guidelines for a responsible pet burial.

• Choose an area set aside for ornamental plants, not food crops. Be aware of locations of utilities such as power and water, and future plans for the area.
• Put your other pets away until afterwards and do not let them see the burial.
• Dig a hole at least one metre or three feet deep
• Wrap your pet’s body in something biodegradable like a cotton pillowcase or woollen rug. Avoid synthetic fabrics, plastic bags or sealed containers.
• Lay them in the hole and cover with all the dirt, tamping it down periodically to make it hard to dig.
• Mark the location. To be extra sure, place a slab or stones over the top.

Just a warning: it’s very hard to do. Having done this several times, I now wish I had asked someone who wasn’t so emotionally attached.

Importantly, commercial species such as chickens and other poultry cannot be legally buried. Contact your council for advice on options other than cremation in your area.

Alternatives To Cremation & Burial

Pet cremation services are available which allow for a wide range of choice, from special urns and keepsakes all the way to plastic containers for scattering the ashes. We use our local Animal Welfare League; costs are usually around $300 and go towards supporting their animal shelters.

I have enquired with the Companion Animal Health Centre at the Adelaide Uni veterinary school. They are willing to accept donations, mainly for student teaching, but aren’t able to guarantee they could always say yes. The answer will depend on storage space and current student needs.

Another disadvantage of donation to a teaching school is the lack of availability for most Australians. Even here in Adelaide, it’s a long drive.

In saying all this I haven’t asked you how you’re going. I hope the loss of your pet hasn’t been unbearable,. If you’re having trouble, you’re not alone. I’ve written some advice here on bereavement after losing a pet that I hope you find useful.

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By Andrew Spanner BVSc(Hons) MVetStud, a vet in Adelaide, Australia. Meet his team here.

Problems with breed lifespan data

1. The figures quoted are median lifespans. Juvenile deaths are included which lower the median. For example, a six-year-old dog having already survived that long will therefore expect a higher median lifespan than these figures suggest for all dogs from puppyhood. The ages should still be valid as a comparison between breeds.
2. Studies use self-reported data and often get response rates of only one in four. This will tend to create reporting bias where people are more likely to send back data for atypical results such as early deaths. The data below doesn’t include breeds with very low numbers or response rates.
3. These studies use old data. All three studies use data for dogs who died before the study date and therefore didn’t have access to many recent advances in veterinary care. This may mean modern lifespans are generally older but it may also explain the idea (myth?) that large dogs die sooner. Look at this recent data from our clinic on 800 living patients. If you can see any difference between large and small dog lifespans you’re doing better than me. Read why I think old dogs now live longer than they used to.

Dog Breed Lifespan Chart

Dog breed longevity in the table below comes from three UK studies, which are the most recent and probably most similar to Australian dogs. View each dog breed here.

*very low numbers, Corgis merged

Also, visit our page on the genetic diseases of different dog breeds.

Related: How to compare dog and human ages | How to give your dog a longer life

References & Comments

Adams, V. J., Evans, K. M., Sampson, J., & Wood, J. L. N. (2010). Methods and mortality results of a health survey of purebred dogs in the UK. Journal of Small Animal Practice, 51(10), 512-524. This study used data from questionnaires sent to members of breed clubs in the UK. Breeds were only included when the response rate was at least 15%. Cross breeds were not included.

Michell, A. R. “Longevity of British breeds of dog and its relationships with sex, size, cardiovascular variables and disease.” The Veterinary Record 145.22 (1999): 625-629. Data came from questionnaires sent to owners of UK dogs insured with a large pet insurance company.

O’Neill, D. G., Church, D. B., McGreevy, P. D., Thomson, P. C., & Brodbelt, D. C. (2013). Longevity and mortality of owned dogs in England. The Veterinary Journal, 198(3), 638-643. This study accessed UK veterinary clinic databases.

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By Andrew Spanner BVSc(Hons) MVetStud, a vet in Adelaide, Australia. Meet his team here.

How can your dog do better than the average lifespan? Of course, avoiding risks & good veterinary care have a lot to do with it. But there’s also a lot you can do to improve their chances.

I’ll talk both about the evidence, and then my personal impressions.

1. Evidence For Lifespan Extension In Dogs

Here’s what the science says we should do to give our dogs longer lives.

Control Weight

Study after study shows that as dogs gain weight, their expected lifespan reduces. The closer you can keep your dog to his or her ideal weight, the slower they seem to age. For example, Kealy et al (2002) put 48 Labradors into two groups and fed 25% less food to one group than the other.

The diet-restricted group lived on average 1.8 years longer. The causes of death were not different between the two groups, just that the onset of disease was later in life in the dogs with normal body weight.

Having trouble? Read our guides to how much to feed a dog and how to get a dog to lose weight.

Desex or Neuter

Female dogs live on average one year two months longer if desexed (Michell, 1999) and desexed males also live longer if not overweight (Kraft 1998; Greer et al. 2007).  Read more in The science behind desexing male dogs.

Feed Vegetables

Very few studies have tried to look at this, but one that did found that Scottish Terriers had a lower risk of bladder cancer (common in the breed) if they had at least three serves of vegetables per week (Raghavan et al, 2005). These findings, are likely to be valid for other cancers as well. That’s why our feeding guide for dogs includes a recommendation to include some raw fruit or vegetable every day.

Feed A Balanced Diet

Feeding home made diets and giving a high red meat intake have been linked with an increased risk of mammary tumours and dysplasias (Alenza et al, 1998). This isn’t necessarily a criticism of home-made diets; in this study the home made diets were suspected to be poorly designed and included table scraps and treats. Read how to make home made diets better for dogs here.

Home made diets can be a healthy choice for dogs but they sometimes have very high levels of meat and fat. If you want to make food for your healthy non-breeding adult dog at home, there is a simple homemade dog food recipe on this page.

However, there is still the chance of a nutritional deficiency or excess. Good quality commercial diets almost eliminate the risk, which is why vets recommend them.

Know Your Breed

If you are still choosing a dog, have a look at our list of published lifespans for different dog breeds. While the numbers may be a little low, the comparison between breeds is valid.

If (like most of us) you already have your breed chosen, check out the list of genetic diseases of your dog’s breed. In many cases you’ll be able to take preventative action or be alert to the early signs.

Manage Anxiety

This is an odd one. There is evidence to suggest that the stress of living with a fear or anxiety disorder can have negative effects on health and lifespan in the domestic dog. In Dreschel (2010), fear of strangers was found to be related to a significantly shortened lifespan. King et al (2016) found that anxiety was associated with premature greying.

It’s also a major quality-of-life issue. Anxiety prevention can be easy. Anxiety management is hard but very achievable if you work closely with a vet and an accredited behaviourist.

Leash & Fence Well

We all love our dogs to run free, and thanks to enclosed dog parks like those in this list, now we can do it safely.

One of the biggest shifts in the daily vet workload over the past 40 years has been the dramatic reduction in fracture repairs. From often one a day, we are down to doing three or four a year. Nearly every one has been hit by a car. Many others do not survive the impact.

Why has this changed? Fewer stray dogs, better dog training, widespread use of leashes but especially, better fencing.

We still have a long way to go. In Sweden (a country much like us for dog care) car accidents are still the most common single cause of death up to 10 years of age (Bonnett et al, 2005). For a local perspective, read the posts on Lost Dogs Of Adelaide.

2. What May Also Increase Dog Lifespans

These extra ideas are just my unfounded observations, but a lot of vets will strongly agree.

Exercise

It’s logical that daily exercise should improve lifespan. Just very hard to test. Read our three vets’ thoughts on exercising dogs.

Dental care

When you see the infected gums of many old sick dogs, you can’t help feeling they must make a difference. Here’s how to prevent dental disease in dogs.

Fish oil

Fish oil is a rich source of omega-3 fatty acids, which have many health benefits. I give dogs fish oil every day at a dose of one gram per 5-10kg as long as their gut tolerates it. It doesn’t have to be a medicine.

I’d love to hear your questions or thoughts as well. Studies on dog longevity are very hard to do well and not common, so there’s no doubt a lot more knowledge to come.

References

Alenza, D. P., Rutteman, G. R., Peña, L., Beynen, A. C., & Cuesta, P. (1998). Relation between Habitual Diet and Canine Mammary Tumors in a Case‐Control Study. Journal of veterinary internal medicine, 12(3), 132-139.

Bonnett, B. N., Egenvall, A., Hedhammar, Å., & Olson, P. (2005). Mortality in over 350,000 insured Swedish dogs from 1995–2000: I. Breed-, gender-, age-and cause-specific rates. Acta Veterinaria Scandinavica, 46(3), 1.

Dreschel, N. A. (2010). The effects of fear and anxiety on health and lifespan in pet dogs. Applied Animal Behaviour Science, 125(3), 157-162.

Greer, K. A., Canterberry, S. C., & Murphy, K. E. (2007). Statistical analysis regarding the effects of height and weight on life span of the domestic dog. Research in veterinary science, 82(2), 208-214.

Kealy, R. D., Lawler, D. F., Ballam, J. M., Mantz, S. L., Biery, D. N., Greeley, E. H., … & Stowe, H. D. (2002). Effects of diet restriction on life span and age-related changes in dogs. Journal of the American Veterinary Medical Association, 220(9), 1315-1320.

King, C., Smith, T. J., Grandin, T. & Borchelt, P. (2016). Anxiety and impulsivity: Factors associated with premature graying in young dogs. Appl. Anim. Behav. Sci.

Kraft, W. (1998). Geriatrics in canine and feline internal medicine. European Journal of Medical Research, 3(1-2), 31-41.

Michell, A. R. Longevity of British breeds of dog and its relationships with sex, size, cardiovascular variables and disease. The Veterinary Record 145.22 (1999): 625-629.

Raghavan, M., Knapp, D. W., Bonney, P. L., Dawson, M. H., & Glickman, L. T. (2005). Evaluation of the effect of dietary vegetable consumption on reducing risk of transitional cell carcinoma of the urinary bladder in Scottish Terriers. Journal of the American Veterinary Medical Association, 227(1), 94-100.

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By Andrew Spanner BVSc(Hons) MVetStud, a vet in Adelaide, Australia. Meet his team here.

We’ve all heard the saying: “multiply your dog’s age by seven to get the human age.” Like most simple rules, there’s a lot wrong with that:

• Dogs age at different rates to people depending on how old they are. They age much faster when young and slower when old.
• The number ‘seven’ has been chosen to match our lifespan to an arbitrary dog age of eleven. No vet would consider 11 an accurate dog lifespan any more.

Here is a more modern and less simplistic view:

after this add 3 human years for each dog year. This approach is an amalgamation of several modern theories first proposed by Lebeau (1953). The Wikipedia page on dog ageing gives a good summary.

The two methods only agree around middle age, as you can see by the graph.

Even if more accurate, the new approach brings up two questions:

Do Large Dogs Age Faster?

Everyone says it, but what is the evidence? There isn’t much. All people are doing is observing that certain large breeds have shorter lifespans. That’s not the same thing.

Visit this page for the best data we have on how long individual dog breeds live. Is it correct that the larger breeds are known for shorter lives? I want to show you some good news from our clinic that changes what we think.

Look at this recent data from our clinic on 800 living patients. If you can see any difference between large and small dog lifespans you’re doing better than me. Read why I think old dogs now live longer than they used to.

The dog breeds famous for short lifespans are the giant breeds like Great Danes and Wolfhounds. I think that the diseases they are known for (bone cancer and dilated cardiomyopathy) take them while they are still in the prime of life. If we look at the large breeds, like Golden Retrievers for example, it’s not at all clear that they live any shorter lives than small dogs.

When Is A Dog Considered Old?

British is an Airedale terrier who inspired this blog. By the old method, he’s 63 years old and even the new way says he’s 57. Most importantly, in his head, he’ll always be a teenager.

Dogs are only as old as they feel. I don’t think we should talk about ‘old age’ in dogs the way we do about people being retired or pensioners. True, knowing the equivalent human age is helpful in thinking about healthcare but it says nothing about their state of mind.

When I wrote about how to know when to go to the vet I said all change is meaningful. Old age is just the sum total of separate diseases. If we keep them under control our dogs can feel and act young right up to their senior years.

Related: How To Help Your Dog Live Longer | Is My Dog Too Old For An Anaesthetic?

Lebeau, A. (1953). L’âge du chien et celui de l’homme. Essai de statistique sur la mortalité canine. Bulletin de l’Academie Veterinaire de France, 26, 229-232. The matching of human and dog ages in this visionary study from 1953 has stood the test of time and become the basis for modern approaches to assessing dog age.

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By Andrew Spanner BVSc(Hons) MVetStud, a vet in Adelaide, Australia. Meet his team here.

• Making The Decision To Euthanase
• Talking To The Family
• Deciding Where To Euthanase
• How Vets Perform Euthanasia
• What Happens After Euthanasia
• Pet Cremations & Burials
• Coping With Pet Loss

We find that the less mystery there is about euthanasia the less there is to fear. If you have concerns we hope we can put these at rest.

The pictures throughout are of our dearly loved patient Zeus. Whether you have a cat, a dog, a rat, a mouse, a chicken, a ferret or a rabbit, we are here to help.

Making The Decision To Euthanase

It’s natural to fear that you won’t be able to tell the right time for euthanasia.

The worst part of euthanasia is having the choice to do it. It might help to remember how much worse it would be to not be able to choose at all.

We’re all trying to do the same thing: decide when a pet’s quality of life is becoming so poor that euthanasia is a better path. Thankfully, despite the worry, in most cases at the right time the decision is clear and you will know.

If you are worried you are holding on for your sake and not your pet’s, here are some suggestions:

• Ask your vet. We often see a pet’s owners several times to talk about euthanasia before we actually do it. We won’t force you to make a decision; after all, we care deeply about getting this right.
• Get a friend’s advice, especially a close friend who is fond of both you and your pet.
• Don’t judge your pet by how they are at abnormal times like at the vets or with visitors. It’s how they are for most of their time that matters. Only you know that.
• Is your pet still doing the things they love? If you pick up a toy, a lead or a treat, do they still show interest? When you come home, do they greet you happily. Or are they withdrawn and not interacting with you?
• Do they have more good days than bad days? Do they still have quality of life?
• Don’t stress over a decision if it’s just a difference of a few weeks. It’s better to go a little early than to go too late and risk increasing the suffering. Owners rarely regret an early decision.

One problem can be that owners hope their pet will die peacefully at home when the time comes. The reality is that most diseases of animals are slowly progressive and require our help; they almost never get heart attacks or strokes for example.

A second problem is that sometimes no one can know for sure when is exactly the right time. Owners look to vets for the answer, and where we can we will help. If we know an illness is likely to cause untreatable pain or sickness, we will always tell you.

For many debilitating diseases such as arthritis or cognitive deterioration, there is no right time. You shouldn’t expect yourself to be able to choose any one day from a long-term decline. It’s enough to know you have done all you could and are making a decision based solely on love.

Sometimes, it’s difficult because the animal’s illness is treatable, but the odds of success are not high. We have to carefully weigh up the chances of success against the risk of prolonging suffering. We will always be as open as possible, and there is no right or wrong decision in these cases.

It’s hard for some people to accept the awful responsibility inherent in choosing to end a life. Perhaps a way of accepting it is to know that our pets have only attained the life they had because we provided for their needs and managed their health. The decision to euthanase is that one last act of love which is only necessary because we protected them for so long.

Talking To The Family

Often, not everyone agrees on the decision. Young children can’t be expected to understand whereas older children who have known no other pet can be in denial. Even spouses can disagree. Here we believe the vet has a vital role to play as an independent expert opinion. Please feel free to place us in the middle of the discussion.

A word of warning though. If you ask for our opinion to settle a disagreement, all parties need to be ready to accept the conclusion. Otherwise the party that shared our opinion has all that is needed to hold a longstanding grievance.

Throughout family discussions on euthanasia, keep calm and remember that everyone, whether you agree or not, is only doing what they feel is best for their pet.

If you decide to euthanase, we strongly advise you to talk about it openly and frankly with your children to make sure they understand what is about to happen. Often in a wish to soften the impact we use words like ‘injection’, ‘put to sleep’ or ‘anaesthetic’ without realising children may take these words at face value. This can give them anxiety in the future around these normal events. Thankfully kids are usually better than adults at coping with losing a pet.

Deciding Where To Euthanase

It’s quite natural to want to avoid your pet having to come to the vet for euthanasia. However, please be reassured that vets do everything they can to make the experience as stress-free as possible. In our clinic, for example, .we avoid making you wait in a public area, use a specific room with a side entry and exit, and give you all the time you need.

When you make the appointment, once our reception staff know what it’s for they will make sure we have allowed enough time and that our private room is free. It’s a good idea  to ask a friend or neighbour for transport to avoid having to drive at such an emotional time.

You can choose to make your selections and finalise any arrangements either in person or over the phone before the appointment.

How Vets Perform Euthanasia

To a pet, euthanasia would seem exactly the same as being given an anaesthetic. The only differences are in how we give them. Therefore, all euthanasia begins with an animal losing consciousness in exactly the same way as having an anaesthetic. Once this happens, more anaesthetic is given until it reaches overdosage levels.

The goal is to do this in the least stressful way possible. For most dogs, cats and rabbits it’s best to give a calming sedative first to reduce stress.

For small pets like rats, ferrets, guinea pigs or birds, we will use gaseous anaesthetics. We have a range of sizes of anaesthetic chambers which we use to provide a stress-free sleep not just for euthanasia, but also some routine procedures.

Once the sedative or gas is working, your pet should be unconscious. Then euthanasia is performed by administration of an intravenous dose of anaesthetic.

What Happens After Euthanasia

Once the vet has given the final part of the anaesthetic, it only takes 20-30 seconds to work. The process is quick, painless and peaceful. You can ask us to wait at any stage; it should never feel rushed.

We encourage owners to be with their pet for their final moments. It is never as bad as people imagine and later they are glad they were able to provide a reassuring presence. Sometimes after death there are reflex body movements such as a gasp or twitch and some pets may urinate.

We always use a private room to allow owners and families if they wish to spend time with their pet both before and after. The only request we make is that children are not present at the moment of euthanasia. A nurse can look after them if necessary and bring them back when ready.

Pet Cremations and Burial

If you have not already indicated, a nurse will ask you about your wishes for your pet’s remains. You are entitled to take them home and either bury them in your yard or arrange your own cremation. Alternatively, we will arrange for the Animal Welfare League to collect your pet. Whichever choice you make, you can be assured that the AWL will treat your pet with respect and dignity.

You can choose between a low cost general cremation or an individual cremation where your pet’s ashes are collected for you. These are then returned in the container of your choice: either a plastic container for scattering or a more decorative ceramic urn or wooden box. If you prefer to have the decision made before your visit, you can view the options at AWL Pet Cremations.

We always stress that there is no right, wrong or normal way. Each family or individual is different, will choose the path that they need and will grieve in their own way. Click here for information on home pet burial in Australia.

Can I Trust Pet Cremations?

It’s OK to ask whether pet cremation is trustworthy; there are a lot of conspiracy theories online. That’s one of the reasons we only use the Animal Welfare League: we can guarantee they will provide a reliable and compassionate service, with all proceeds going to running their shelter.

The AWL is full of dedicated animal lovers, both paid and volunteer, many of whom we know personally. There is no way any rogue employee could mix up the ashes of your pet without someone blowing the whistle. You can be sure the ashes they return will be from your beloved pet alone.

Coping With Pet Loss

In a sister article we talked about the distress caused by the death of a pet, which is real and can be extreme.

If you are having trouble or know someone who is, please read Dealing with the loss of a pet. It’s written by those who see it happen every day and have experienced it themselves.

In conclusion, we hope that by understanding the process of euthanasia, it’s possible to fear it less. And by fearing it less we can focus on what really matters: making our pets comfortable while we pay tribute to their beautiful lives.

Images of Zeus were used with permission from https://www.eonimages.com.au

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By Andrew Spanner BVSc(Hons) MVetStud, a vet in Adelaide, Australia. Meet his team here.

Here are my suggestions to help you or others through this terrible time. Remember that everyone’s individual experience of grief is different and not all these will apply to each case. And it will get better.

1. Talk to the right people and ignore the rest

When people are experiencing the grief from the loss of a pet, the hardest thing always seems to be the reactions of others. Less than 50% of Australian households have pets, and sadly even some of these pet owners don’t experience strong emotional attachments. When these people see someone struggling to come to terms with their pet’s death, their attempt to help is either “you should go and get another one” or “it’s only a dog” (or “cat”, “ferret”, “chicken”, “rabbit”, “rat”, etc). They simply don’t ‘get’ that the loss is not physical, it’s emotional.

If you talk to pet lovers, vet workers or grief counsellors, you will be among friends who can understand your pain and offer real support. Talking about it is a great help to most; if you are the person being asked to listen, you should feel very special. Don’t always try to offer solutions; often there simply aren’t any. The main thing is that you are available, understanding and patient. If you know of someone male or female who loses a pet, ask them how they are doing; acknowledge their grief instead of avoiding it.

2. Create a grieving ritual

Humans have known for millennia that the best way to cope with a loved one’s passing is to mark it with a special event. Most people find the same is true for pet loss. Here are some suggestions; tell us some of yours too.

• Create a photo collage of your pets life. Keep it private or send it to those who loved your pet (that includes us if you want- we all love receiving these reminders of a life well-lived)
• Post a remembrance on our Facebook page which will then also share to your friends.
• Find your favourite pictures and get them painted or professionally enlarged and framed.
• Have a burial ceremony with your pet’s remains or ashes. Invite your understanding friends to a memorial get-together
• Plant a memorial bush or tree (next week we’ll talk more about this)
• Write it all down (like I am)

3. Remember the good times, not the bad

The rituals above will help you to relive the days before your pet’s final illness and all the happy times you shared. Too often I hear people talk about their pet by the way they died rather than how they lived. Even if their life was short, it always contained happiness and love. Trying to imagine what your pet would remember of their life can help you see it from their perspective. The grief you feel is a direct result of the love you shared.

4. Let the grief happen without shame

People often feel silly when they express their grief. Everyone feels it differently. Almost everyone cries; most of us keep crying at random times for weeks afterwards. Sleeping badly, or feeling hollowed-out or empty is normal, and it is usually some time before you can be cheerful again. You just seem to be OK and some little remembrance sets it off again. They have been a part of your life in so many ways, and breaking each of these bonds hurts deeply. You may have moments when you forget they are gone, and look for them in their usual chair, call them for dinner, or wonder why they didn’t greet you at the gate. And missing the strangest things, like their hair on your clothes, the smell, or the toy you always trip over at night. Sometimes you even seem to hear them or catch a glimpse of them before you realise it’s just your mind playing tricks.

The grief should improve and the bad times get fewer and fewer with the weeks to come until you can remember your pet without the pain. If this is not happening, please consult a professional grief counsellor. Some of the worst we see is when a pet is the last living link to a departed loved one such as a husband, father or child. Often, these people tell us that losing the pet caused them to grieve again for the person and sometimes worse than the first time. Another situation that makes it far more traumatic is when people lose their pets suddenly, or when they are unable to be there to say goodbye.

5. Don’t feel guilt or blame others

Almost all unexpected deaths could have been prevented or delayed if things had gone differently. It’s too easy to get into ‘what if’ scenarios where you imagine either yourself or others being responsible for what happened. Everyone forgets to latch a gate or put away the poison or check for snakes at some stage, and mostly we get away with it. Sometimes, however, luck is against us. The same goes for illnesses; you may think ‘if only I’d gone to the vet sooner’ but hindsight is easy and we usually don’t think of the worst thing all the time. And who knows if early treatment would have made any difference. No pet is treated perfectly all the time, and no-one is perfect themself.

6. Let children grieve their own way

Although this is a huge generalisation that will be wrong at times, most children up to their teenage years cope remarkably well with pet loss. Before the event, the parents are often most concerned about the effect on the children. Afterwards, adults are the usually the ones suffering the most, and the kids, while certainly experiencing grief, recover well. Often they are terribly upset, and yet in five minutes can be playing as if nothing has happened.

The message is: accept whatever happens. Don’t judge your children harshly if they seem unfazed, or ask for a new pet straight away. Similarly, be prepared for unpredictable manifestations of grief as kids don’t know how they are expected to behave. We have some children’s books which deal with this difficult time that you are welcome to borrow.

Some final advice from experience: kids do better if we tell it to them straight up. They are very literal so avoid euphemisms like ‘gone to a farm’, ‘put to sleep’, ‘lost’ (like we’re using here) or white lies about disappearing or dying at the vet. They need to hear the unvarnished truth, and this will cause some very frank questions which you may find hard to answer. In the long run, they’ll be better off this way, and they’ve also had a valuable lesson about dealing with loss.

7. Don’t think about a new pet until you are ready

I have seen situations where owners have gone out and got a new pet the next day, and others that never recover fully enough from losing a pet to get another. The vast majority of pet owners are between these two poles but everyone has their own path to follow. The best thing to do is not think about it; when the time comes, you will start thinking about it naturally.

Sometimes, the home environment may force the decision; again, let be whatever will be. You may have a child who cries him or herself to sleep each night, or a second animal who was strongly attached to the one lost. In each case, a quick acquisition may be necessary, if not ideal. No-one is trying to replace a pet and a change in sex, breed and colour for the newcomer can make it easier to feel that way.

If you are older or unwell, an animal is a great companion but you may be worried your new pet will outlast you. If you can, make a firm arrangement with a friend or family member who can guarantee continued care, and leave an amount in your will to cover the costs.

I wish I could make this part of having pets go away. It can seem unbearable to lose them at times but the odds are that we will outlive them. Aren’t they lucky to be able to live always in the moment and not dwell on the past or the future. If only we could learn to do the same. I for one feel that after the pain fades, the echoes of their beautiful lives live on.

In memory of The Puss and all the beloved pets we have had the honour to meet. March 1997 to 18 September 2014

Related: Talking about pet euthanasia | Home burial and cremation options

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By Andrew Spanner BVSc(Hons) MVetStud, a vet in Adelaide, Australia. Meet his team here.